Originally posted to Facebook on January 22, 2020
Catholic Women On Social Media In Alarming Numbers: “Catholic ladies, I hope you find a man who -“
Me, firmly on the single and refuses to mingle train: You mean Jesus doesn’t COUNT?
Also, real “quick” (as in, welcome to the first “Long” Angelica Status of the Year and of the Decade and in a long while???).
I love being Catholic and I love being a woman and all, but why, oh why, do so many Catholic women (who haven’t decided to abandon the Church anyway) obsess over “finding a man” and think that’s what /every/ Catholic woman wants?
I sorta noticed this at Hofstra w/ my Catholic gal friends, and I remember cringing every time romantic relationships would be brought up b/c it was ALWAYS treated as “well, you either become a religious brother or sister or you get married, so if you ain’t feeling the former, get working on the latter,” and it ALWAYS bugged me. But, in typical Angelica fashion, I said nothing b/c
1) that wasn’t a boat I, with zero romantic relationship experience, wanted to rock
2) I KNOW I was in the minority, so had I said something, it would be acknowledge with “oh, good point.” and most likely never to be addressed again.
Oh, and don’t get me started on the one time I was at an intercampus retreat, and I told two of my friends I wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship b/c xyz reasons, and they talked about “finding the one” for me at that retreat. BIG HECKING SHAKING MY HEAD Y’ALL.
Which is why when I heard the campus Catholic priest and then a priest from my Texas home parish acknowledge that non-religious singlehood, I kid you not, I almost cried. Imagine not having the vocation you’ve been called to (in terms of how you connect w/ other human beings) acknowledged for two decades, then not one, but TWO priests acknowledge it.
It’s powerful, to say the least.
Many of the saints weren’t married. Neither were they of a religious or priestly order. Jesus wasn’t married by the legal and earthly definition of the word.
I don’t know if it’s just me who’s perfectly comfortable in her singleness and who’s pretty sure God hasn’t called her for a romantic relationship, but.
To any possible single Catholic, or even Christian or religious (or non-religious? Trying to cover my bases here ) friends who have no interest in finding a significant other, whether right now or ever:
The non-religious order singlehood vocation is just as valid of a vocation as the married life and the religious life.
Even if this fantastic () society that we live in wants to make life incredibly stressful for single folks just because we’re not shacking up with or in a romantic relationship or married to someone else.
Even if all you see on your social media feed is your friends saying they’re dating or engaged or married and you can only bring yourself to press the like or love reaction out of support b/c you’re getting so tired of it all.
Even if your family members or friends constantly hound you with “WHY AREN’T YOU DATING????” questions that you just give very short answers to b/c “it’s really none of your business but.”
Even if all the world wants to shove in romantic subplots in all the media we consume b/c we as a species apparently can’t function w/o being in romantic relationships, even though we most certainly can.
It’s really okay to be single, I promise. Whether or not you’re in a romantic relationship doesn’t and shouldn’t define your worth as a person.
And to my fellow Catholic women and non-Catholic women who are in romantic relationships right now: I’m really happy for you. I truly am. But please also keep in mind not all women want what you have relationship-wise. Please and thank.
“Angelica, you really could’ve saved this for Valentine’s Day or Singles’ Awareness Day, ya know.”
I mean, I /could’ve,/ but then it’d look like I just hate folks in romantic relationships and/or I’m jealous, which I absolutely. Do Not. And absolutely. Am Not.
(It’s hard to be jealous when I spend a good chunk of my time crying over fictional characters anyway. particularly over this one male fictional character whom I’ve loved for nearly 12 years now, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be celebrating my singleness w/ good ole fashioned cookies and milk. Peace.